Casey Claus
by Night Lotus Blossom
Summary: Guess who’s playing Santa? This is dedicated to the magnificent Green Owl. Santa has decided that you have been very nicely naughty this year and brought you a little something. Reviews are like candy cane kisses. Happy holidays, everyone!


**Title**: Santa Casey

**Author**: Night_Lotus

**Rating**: PG

**Word Count: **1,852

**Disclaimer: **I neither own Chuck nor its marvelous characters, but I do have fun bringing them out to play.

**Author's Note**: Guess who's playing Santa? This is dedicated to the magnificent Green Owl. Goblins may have absconded with your Halloween treat, but Santa has decided that you have been very nicely naughty this year and brought you a little something for under your tree.

* * *

It was 9:00 a.m. and another day of holiday hell, or in corporate speak, retail bliss, was underway, and the wheels of the well-oiled Buy More machine were churning, fueled by the sweat rolling of the backs of the green shirts who were busy scurrying around the store like Christmas mice.

It was three days before Santa was due to come rumbling down the chimneys of good girls and boys everywhere, and Big Mike decided it was time to take things to the next level. He came barreling out of his office, hands on his hips, with a fine dusting of powdered sugar coating his lips.

"Grimes, gather all the green shirts, Bartowski, corral the herders. Front and center people, front and center!" he directed, pointing his finger at Morgan and then at Chuck.

Less than three minutes later, all of the employees of Buymoria were lined up smack in the middle of the store, as requested. Big Mike, hands still resting on his hips, paced up and down the line, surveying the rank and file, the good, the bad and ugly. "Now listen up," he announced, coming to an abrupt halt in front of Morgan. "Large Mart is siphoning away our customers at an unholy rate, and that stops right here, right now, today!!" A little bit of Big Mike's enthusiasm landed on Morgan's cheek and he quickly wiped it away while the boss' gaze was focused a green shirt newbie, who was busy quivering like the inside of a jelly doughnut, under the scrutiny.

"In exactly two hours, our Winter Wonderland Village will be here. Buy More is about to become Christmas central, and we're going to pull the rug out from under those Large Mart shills. Milbarge, you're in charge of making sure the village is set up and ready to go by six o'clock tonight. Use whatever resources you need to make that happen," Big Mike commanded.

"Now, for the rest of you," he continued. "Jeff, Lester there are elf costumes with your names on them in the break room. Jeff immediately broke ranks and took off for the break room, a disturbingly lascivious leer on his face. "Oh, boy," Chuck muttered under his breath. "Anna, you're gonna be Mrs. Claus," Big Mike intoned. "Okay," Anna replied, smiling sweetly in Morgan's direction.

Big Mike paused, moving to stand in front of John Casey, who was doing his best not to express his utter lack of Christmas cheer. "I was planning on playing the part of St. Nick, myself, but as it so happens, the House of Big Mike will be a rockin' and I have some boots to be knockin'," he intimated with a dreamy look on his face. "I think I'm going to throw up," Morgan whispered to Chuck. "I understand, buddy," Chuck commiserated. "While no one can fill the role quite like me, we're going to go with the next best choice," he said, looking Casey up and down.

Casey visibly blanched. "Sir, um, I have a lot of last minute Christmas shopping to get done after my shift ends this afternoon." Big Mike gave Casey his most intimidating and authoritative stare. "Well then, son, you'll be working a split shift today. That should give you enough time to get your shopping done and be back here by 5:30 to suit up and channel your inner Kris Kringle. Milbarge, see about getting some gut padding for Mr. Casey's suit," he directed. "On it, sir," Emmet replied with pure sycophantic devotion.

Chuck could feel the rage pouring off of Casey, accompanied by the low growl that was commencing in the depths of his throat. He was just getting ready to reach out a hand to still the big man when Big Mike announced "That's all, people. Work that floor and crank up those Christmas sales," before stalking back to his office.

Morgan failed to suppress a giggle while thinking of Casey as Santa Claus. "Not a good idea, Morgan," Chuck warned as he stepped between him and Casey, who was ready to charge like an enraged bull. "Laugh it up troll," Casey spat with vitriol. "At least Big Mike isn't playing hide the candy cane with my mother." He turned with a grunt and stormed off, before giving in to his desire to hang Morgan up by his feet in the cage and use him as his own personal punching bag.

"Wow, touchy." Morgan said, staring at Casey's retreating back. Chuck turned his friend around, and they headed back to the Nerd Herd desk. "Come on, let's grab some lunch at the mall. I have a feeling we're going to need to be fueled up for tonight's festivities."

Six agonizing hours later, the Buy More Winter Wonderland Village was assembled and sparkling in its resplendent glory. Emmett proudly surveyed the handiwork of his labor force, while several green shirts and a few nerd herders fought to catch their breath and wipe the sweat from their brows, knowing that they would not be granted the glory of collapsing in fatigue until after the store closed at 10:00.

A large red-roofed portico supported by candy cane columns, loomed over a huge, plush velveteen throne with gilded golden arm rests and feet, with matching scrollwork decorating the top of the chair, which was stationed on a red, carpeted platform covered in sparking faux snow. Two fully decorated Christmas trees stood at attention on either side of Santa's place of honor, with the adorable figures of a doe and her fawn grazing at the base of one of the trees. A small wooden cabin, with an evergreen and holly berry wreath gracing its front door, sat at the entrance to the village, with sprayed-on snow accumulating on its window sills. A hand hewn wooden sign fastened to a wooden pole proclaimed the entrance to the Winter Wonderland Village. Kid and adult-friendly consumer electronics and other gift giving suggestions were strategically placed in displays surrounding the village.

Jeff and Lester, dressed in their elven finery, were leaning casually against the cabin, and Jeff was honing in on and casting a lewd eye over the women waiting in line with wriggling children who were eager to greet Santa Claus. Anna stationed herself at the entrance to the village, dressed in low cut red velvet Mrs. Claus jacket, trimmed in white fur, with a matching short skirt and a red hat topped with a white pom. She was wearing her trademark black fishnets with glittering ruby heels gracing her feet and held a wicker basket of candy canes in her hand. "Nice tights and shoes, boys," she tossed over her shoulder with an impish wink after taking in Jeff and Lester's moss green leggings and matching toe-curling half boots. Simultaneously, the boys removed their triangular, green felt hats, clutched them against their chests, and gave Ann deep bows, causing her to giggle. All that was missing was Father Christmas.

Suddenly, mass chaos erupted at the back of the store as employees scattered and hastily cleared a path for the large, very imposing man in the red Santa suit that was steamrollering his way toward the village, a malevolent look in his eye. "Wow, dude can even make Santa Claus look scary," Morgan whispered to Chuck as he dived out of Casey's way. Chuck placed a cautionary hand on Morgan's shoulder. "Just don't rile him, buddy. I've heard he spits when he gets angry, like a camel." "He's going to make those kids cry," Morgan returned. Chuck merely raised an eyebrow as he watched Casey settle on the Santa throne.

As soon as Casey was situated on the plush chair, Anna removed the plump red velvet barricade. The tiny, blond-haired, blue-eyed toddler at the front of the line tilted her head back and gazed at Santa Casey with a trepidation-filled gaze and a quivering lip, while her mother whispered words of encouragement in her ear. Striving to be helpful, Lester looked at the little girl, and said coaxingly, "Don't worry sweetie, Santa won't hurt you. He's nice and jolly and full of Christmas cheer." "See," Lester continued as he hopped onto Casey's lap. "You just sit right here and tell Santa what you want for Christmas. If it's a secret, you can whisper it in his ear." Lester hooked an arm around Casey's neck, and was leaning in to show the little girl how it was done, when Casey covertly applied pressure to a nerve running along Lester's lower back and leaned in and whispered menacingly in his ear . "You just signed your own death warrant, Patel." Lester leapt out of Casey's lap and motioned the little girl forward, breathing a sigh of relief as she allowed Casey to pick her up and settle her on his lap.

Surprisingly, Casey was a wonderful Santa, treating the children with gentle kindness and convivial holiday cheer, laughing and joking with the older kids, and patiently listening to the younger ones whispering their Christmas wishes in his ear, while posing for pictures here and there. Amazingly, Jeff was only slapped by one outraged woman after she caught him sneaking a peek up her skirt.

It was five minutes until closing time, and sticky bits of candy cane were embedded in his beard and various unidentified substances coated the suit. "At least my lap is still dry," Casey sighed, as he surveyed the nearly empty store. "That is a true Christmas miracle!" Just as he was about to rise and make his way back to the employee locker room to change back into his civvies, she walked in.

Long, lustrous brown hair streamed out behind her and her grey eyes glittered as she purposefully approached the Winter Wonderland Village and stepped up on the platform. She stopped in front of Casey, and with a devilish smile on her face, asked "Do you have time for one more wish, Santa?"

Casey found himself at a sudden loss for words, as he drank in the luscious vision Ellie made, dressed in a tight black turtle neck sweater, black leather mini skirt and black high heeled velvet boots that clung to her calves. "I'll interpret that as consent," she laughed, settling herself on Casey's lap, looping her arms around his neck. She leaned in close, and he savored the smell of her spicy perfume, coupled with the scent that was pure Ellie. His arm automatically wrapped around her waist and a white-gloved hand settled on her hip.

Ellie leaned in and whispered in Casey's ear, his blue eyes widening in response and a smile broke through the candy-coated beard. When she finished confiding her Christmas wish, Ellie slowly kissed his cheek, slid off his lap and walked to the store entrance, the heels of her boots clicking confidently on the smooth, hard surface of the floor.

As soon as she was out of sight, Casey bolted from the chair and raced for the locker room, scattering the few remaining employees in his wake. A knowing smile formed on Jeff's face. "Dude definitely has a present waiting for him under the tree."


End file.
